Monday, February 26, 2001
It's amazing how life finds a way of picking itself up after all the pieces seemed to have been scattered all over the place. It's been a couple of weeks since the evil, or "dark" version of my good friend and roommate tried to kill me. And everything is back to normal, I guess, if you consider college life normal.
Except that I've been smoking cigarettes more often that I ever had, and, frankly, it makes me sick to even think about it, the smell, the taste, but there's something to be said about standing there a hour, waiting for your class to start, bored as hell, no girls to talk to, and lighting up. It feels like you're, I dunno, doing something productive, even though productive in this case means shaving a couple of years off your life and making you smell really, really bad.
Then again, after what happened with dark Kelly, I feel as if nothing could kill me.
Classes are, as usual, tough and unrelenting. My brain hurts so much I'm glad I decided to start this journal, just to get everything together. I promised myself it wouldn't be like any of the other journals I've had in the past, where I would whine an awful lot about which girls I liked and did they like me. I stopped after "what's-her-name" and since "what's-her-name" is no longer in the picture, well, here I am once again. Things are stagnant. I thought I had a shot with Faith, who I realized was pretty good for me, then she goes and meets this poet guy who everyone in the world sees as this total shit-for-brains except Faith. I mean, all he does is wear turtle necks and drinks Latte's. I fully expect him to one day don a monocle and smoke one of those cigarettes on a stick or whatever and speak with a faux French accent. I think his name is Horace, or something. But, she's happy, and I hope she doesn't get hurt. Then, I thought, Shammecca wanted something to do with me, but she's been avoiding me ever since what happened. I think it's Megoth's fault for toying with her friend Mercedes mind. We had a lot in common. Maybe I should try and make amends with her. Maybe.
It's getting late and there's a class I have to go to tomorrow, so I think this is all I'm gonna write today.
Oh, and Sunday is my 19th birthday. Kelly says we have to go out or someshit, because when it was his birthday in November we all but ignored it. Kid's 20, could ya believe that? He's old. I rather stay in and feel bad for myself, but, I haven't been drunk in a while and I should let off some steam. God knows I need it.
