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Everything Jake. #604 Jake's Journal (art returns tomorrow, sorry, folks...) Okay, now I'm really confused about my whole life. Things seemed to have been going well, sort of, but now... shit... who knows. My mind is like a whirlwind of emotions, it's hard to focus on one thing. It's as if everything that was going on isn't anymore, and all the new things just seem no good. Let's recap, because I dunno if I've written about what's going on for me (you, whoever). Me and Shamecca Schwartz (I still can't believe her last name, it's like something out of a bad comic book) broke up two weeks ago. This, in itself, is not much of a surprise. Did I love her? Maybe. But it's probably more like I was in love with the idea of being in love. Sure, that's an excuse. She got way too mad at me for something I don't remember doing (if I did at all), but there were a lot of other things that I didn't like about our relationship. Now I'm single. I should be living it up, as Kelly Rose would say. Having the time of my life during the so-called time of my life. But, I'm not. During the very surreal first class of self-defense class, where me and Mercedes sparred with Jenkins (more on him later, if I'm not too tired to write) there was a moment when we looked at each other and I felt that all too familiar hot flash through my stomach into my head. And, so she says, it wasn't just me. There are problems, major, major problems. First off, she was Kelly's girlfriend, for lack of a better word, for just as long if not longer than me and Meck were together. He explained to me about their sex life. In retrospect, I should have told him to keep it quiet, but now that I know this, it kinda makes me want her a little more and a lot of bit less. Unspoken rule between guys I guess. You shouldn't go after your friends ex for like, what, three years? So as much as I want her, and it's a lot right now, I just can't see myself being with her. I can't do that to Kelly, and I can't do that to me. She feels pretty much the same way. No sex, no nothing, just friends. I'm going to have to tell myself this is good enough. Good enough. Yes. For now. Am I saying that if she came up to me and said let's go find a place to, uh, y'know, that I wouldn't? I probably would. Who am I kidding? She's freaking hot, man. This sucks. This sucks a lot. I have to get her out of my head, and I think the winter break is just the perfect time to do so, especailly since Kelly said he's going to stay with megoth. Heh, I was jealous when he said that, but I understand, and it's not like they live so far away where we can't hang out. My dad will probably want me to work in te city with him a little bit with Hector. I guess that's okay, me and uncle summoner need to have a nice, long talk. I need to talk to Becky, also, tell her about everything. I wanted to do this on Thanksgiving, but it was so hectic with only four days home I never got the chance. I've got a month home, might as well make it count. I'm actually glad about one thing, I've handed in my last paper and have nothing really left to do except one lab and one self-defense class left. The self-defence class is easily my favorite. Jenkins is teahing me how to fight, which is pretty cool in itself, and of what Mercy says, maybe he can show me how to use my so-called "powers". She said he's not getting into that stuff since I joined the class, and I think I know why, but I didn't tell her. It's b/c of Becky. Definatley. That means he knows, which isn't surprising, since he knows Hector. I wonder how much Jenkins does know... and the others in the class... Paul, Artie, the girls (Mercy... sigh). I wonder what thier powers are, if any. It'll be an interesting second half of my second year, I'll tell you (me, whoever) that. Whoop, Project:greenlight is on, time to get going. I'll write again soon, promise...! :)    
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