|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
Strips to EJake1000: 17 Fan Art/Fic/etc. recieved: 0 E-Mail to send aformentioned work: MRosenzweig76@yahoo.com or Swagman23@aol.com Deadline: 8/29/03 Eveything sent in will be put up the week of 9/1/03 to 9/5/03 thanks Everything Jake #981 Jake: I heard from someone that after we graduated you did quite a bit of extracurricular activities with Ms. Klooney… Faith: I heard the same. Noah: Lies! Roger: You fucked a teach, bro? Hardcore. Noah: No… it wasn’t like that AT ALL… Jake: Not what I heard. Noah: What exactly did you guys hear?? Jake: That you boinked Ms. Klonney… Faith: What I heard was this: You were seen, by a party I shall not mention, (Alice), leaving the Seaford Motel at 3am with the AP Earth Science teacher… Noah: … Roger: Explain that, dude. Noah: It’s not what you think… Jake: How else do you explain coming out of the Seaford Motel at 3am with a teacher? Sounds to me like sex. Faith: Yup. Sex. Jake: Why else would you go to the Seaford Motel? Kelly: I think I was there once… Jake: What? Kelly: When I was in tenth grade… this chick, she was older, I think we went there… Jake: You were having sex in tenth grade? Kelly: Ninth, but that’s another story. Roger: Me too, Kelly. Ninth grade. I thought Noah was still a virgin… Noah: I AM!! Jake: Not if you were at the Seaford Motel… Faith: I may not talk to my sources anymore, but they were solid. Noah gets up Noah: I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I`M STILL A VIRGIN!!! Everything Jake #982 silence, everyone in the restaurant looks at him a waiter drops a tray of dirty plates, it echos for three solid minutes Noah: Um… Noah sits down, face bright red and flushed at the same time Roger: Hardcore, bro. Kelly extends his hand over to Noah Kelly: Thanks, dude, that was the best thing I’ve EVER seen… and I’ve seen a lot of stupid shit with your pal Jake here… Jake: Hey! Kelly: It’s true. You sucked. Faith: He’s kinda right, Jake. Remember the first time I ran into you at school? Jake: Enough. So, if you weren’t fucking Ms. Klooney, Noah, what the hell were you doing? Noah: (sigh) Noah: We were talking. Kelly: Bullshit. Roger: No no, for some reason, I believe him… Noah: I don’t know if I should thank you or not for that, Rodge. Roger: Me neither. Faith: What were you talking about? Noah: I don’t want to say right now, it’s none of your business. Jake: Y’can’t leave us here hanging, Noah, we gotta know. Kelly: Agreed. Roger: Agreed. Faith: If he doesn’t want to tell us, we won’t force him. Noah: Thanks, Faith, at least someone here is NICE. Roger: Virgin. Faith: But, Noah, if you don’t tell us, it goes down as: sex. Noah: (sigh) Noah: I can’t believe I’m involved in a conversation where I want people to believe I didn’t have sex with a hot high school teacher. Kelly: Not that we’d believe it anyway. Roger: This kid I like. We should go out tonight, pick up some ladies. Maybe we can help Noah here finally get laid. Kelly: I think my days of helping other guys get laid are over. Kelly looks at Jake, then at Faith, then at Jake again Kelly: However, I would like to get a night out on the town, so to say. Jake: I can’t. Roger: And why not? Jake: I’ve got work to do. Noah: It’s summer, Jake, what work? And there’s no way I’m getting laid. Roger: I’ll say. Noah: F you, Rodge, I’ve never seen you with a girl in three years. Roger: How little you know, Goodman, how little you know. Jake: These guys remind me of us, Kelly, only three years ago. Kelly: They remind me of us two weeks ago, dude. Laid or no, I’m going to hang with them tonight while you write your stupid story. Faith, are you gonna hang with the cool people and Noah or with Jake? Noah: Great, just met the kid and he’s picking on me. Roger: It’s only funny cause it’s true. Noah: Asshole. Faith: I think I’ll stay with Jake. Roger: Too bad. One way to attract hot chicks is to hang out with hot chicks. Noah: True. Faith: I’m flattered, really, but I’d rather stay with Jake tonight. Jake: She doesn’t want to go out because she’ll miss an episode of ‘The Real World’ tonight. Faith: No! Roger: It’s okay, I’m taping it. Noah: Really? Roger: No, but we’ll make her feel better. Noah: Oh. Noah: So what are you writing, Jake? Everything Jake #983 Jake: Um.. it’s a school project. I got sick and missed the last three weeks of school, so I have to write this paper so I don’t get a “f”. Roger: That sucks dude, what was it? The Clap? You could tell us... Jake: No, one of my lungs collapsed and I broke a rib. silence Noah: How did that happen? Jake: Um. I had a seizure. I’m okay, nothing too big to worry about, except this stupid paper. Noah: I’m glad you’re okay. What are you writing about? Jake: An autobiography of sorts, it wasn’t really my choice. I’d rather be writing fiction. Kelly: It reads like fiction. Jake: Ha-ha. I’d rather be writing my sci-fi story. Noah: You have a sci-fi story? Jake: Well, sort of, it’s a sci-fi fantasy type thing. I call it “M” but I’m thinking of a new name. Kelly: He wrote part of it, he was supposed to write more that I could draw as a comic, we even got Keenspot involved, but Jake never finished it. Noah: I’d love to see it one day. Jake: Gimme your e-mail, I’ll send it over. Roger: You draw, Kelly? Kelly: Sure. Faith: He’s really good. Kelly: Thanks. Noah: That’s cool you draw, Kelly, I would have never guessed. Kelly: Why? Noah: Just don’t seem the type. Kelly: I get that a lot. Jake: It’s because you’re an asshole. Kelly: I get that a lot, too. Noah: Jake, do you read a lot? Jake: Not as much as I like too. I know, as a writer I should be reading all the time. I did tear through Harry Potter in three days, though. Noah: Yeah! Me too. Well, like a week. Roger: Fucking gay ass Harry Potter. Grow up! Noah: Roger doesn’t like Harry Potter. Roger: Fuck no, if I’m gonna read kiddie books, I’ll read the fucking Hardy Boys. Jake: Oooh, I haven’t thought about them in years. Noah: Roger has an extensive Hardy Boy collection. Roger: It's the biggest in SoCal, I've been told. Noah: By who? Roger: People in the know. Noah: Like your mom? Roger: Perhaps... Jake: Remember when they came out with the Hardy Boys: Casefiles? Roger: DUDE! As far as I’m concerned, those are the only Hardy Boy books. Jake: Remember when they killed that fat kids sister? In the first Casefile book? Noah: What was her name…? Faith: Lola? they all look at Faith Faith: I have a brother. And Nancy Drew SUCKS. Roger: It might be… Lola... I’m not sure. I'll check when I go home. She was killed in a car bomb, right? Jake: Yeah, dude, hardcore. What a way to open a series. I mean, it sets up that anything can happen, y’know? Noah: Remind me to e-mail you the name of the book I’m reading now, Jake, it’s called “A Game of Thrones” by George RR Martin, and it’s off the hook, man. Roger: You really just said “off-the-hook”? Jake: What’s it about? Noah: It’s about a lot, too much to get into… it’s fantasy but it’s more or less a world of men… shut up, Roger, it’s really good Jake, I think you’ll like it. Jake: I’ll check it out, if you say it’s good. Noah: It’s good. Kelly: I think I heard about it. Megoth read it. He said it was good. Noah: Megoth? Jake: A friend from home. He’s fucking Kelly’s sister. Kelly: Better him than you. Roger: I would never let my friend fuck my sister. Noah: You don’t have a sister. Roger: All the more reason. Noah: How much longer you guys gonna be here in beautiful Southern California? Jake: Couple more weeks. Noah: Then we’ll hang again, I want to hear about this “M” story and read that auto biography. Jake: Sounds good, man… Roger: Shit, look, my food is cold now. Faith: You guys have been talking so much none of you have eaten anything! I was watching, like, when are they going to shut up and eat? Kelly: I was eating. Faith: Barely. Jake: Okay, no more talking for ten minutes while we eat, deal? Roger, Noah, Kelly: Deal.    
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
EVERYTHING JAKE is TM & (C) 2000-2011 by Mike Rosenzweig. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
