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Three things. One: Yesterday, in the end of strip #830, this was written: “Wait… where are Mercy and Sandy?” When, of course, this was supposed to be there: “Wait… where are Trish and Sandy?” Sorry for the confusion. And thank you for the e-mails. Two: Everything Jake Fan Art (FanFic) Week Three is almost here, and until yesterday, I totally forgot about it. It’s the week between X-Mas and New Years. I put all the entries I get up on the site and this year I will link to whatever you want me to link to (unlike last year, where I basically called it in) and give proper credit. There’s a new e-mail address I’m accepting entries to, even though I will take ones sent to The Old One The new e-mail address is as follows: Megoth@earthlink.com. Feel free to e-mail me there too but I am not gonna check it as often as I do the crappy Excite account. Three: I’m going to cut back on Monday Strips until the Holiday Season is over. What’s that, like four or five weeks? You could deal. Enjoy this one. It took me a while. Everything Jake #831: Junior Year Whiteout Kelly’s eyes opened and he felt an arm loosely draped over his waist. He took a mental inventory. All his clothes were on from the night before, the smell of cigarettes and beer (and some of that cheapo Vodka Megoth plundered from his mom’s liquor chest before the semester started) stung his nose. He remembers not deciding on who he’d want to boink more, hot Trish or Big Nips, and he remembers winning five bucks at cards. He was too drunk last night to remember which of the two chicks he got into bed with him, since the one he didn’t want Megoth was sure to get. Which was good, the big guy needed some ass, even though he claimed to have gotten some over the summer. Kelly didn’t want to move because he didn’t want to awaken whose arm was around him. That was a rule he had learned early on. If you don’t remember her name, make sure you don’t wake up first. There was a snore, a guttural sounding snore, and Kelly leaped up out of bed in an instant. “Megoth! What the CRAP are you doing!!” From outside Megoth’s bedroom door he heard giggles, girls, laughing. Megoth slowly opened his drowsy eyes and smacked his lips together. He looked confused and perhaps a bit still drunk. “What your prob, Kelly?” Kelly was furious. Why was he in bed with Megoth??!!? He slammed open the door and saw Trish and Sandy sitting in front of the TV trying to play Playstation. Trish was in one of Kelly’s shirts and wearing one of his boxers as bottoms. Sandy was wearing a video game shirt and huge sweat pants. “Morning sunshine”, Trish smiled, looking over to Kelly, “Have a nice sleep?” “You did that on purpose…” “Actually, Kelly, it was both our ideas.” Sandy and Trish then giggled and laughed together. “It’s not funny.” Which, of course, made them laugh all the more harder. Kelly shook his head. He glanced out the window. Snow. Lots of it, it seemed. Maybe this won’t be such a bad day after all. “Why are you all still here?” “Did you see outside, Sherlock? There’s like twenty feet of snow out there. We’re stuck here until it clears.” “You going to make us breakfast?” “I guess it’s the least I could do for you putting me into bed with Megoth.” “You were no problem. It was him that fought us.” They laughed and giggled some more and went back to the TV. They were playing Contra on PS2, and they sucked. Kelly couldn’t even watch it. Stupid girls shouldn’t play games. He swaggered over to the fridge and knew he had eggs. He had told Megoth it was important that they have breakfast stuff after a party. Kelly took the eggs out of the fridge and got a good look at the kitchen. It was a mess. Empty beer bottles everywhere. The SoCo bottle that Faith had been nursing had only one gulp left in it, which was most probably backwash. Hey… “Women… the lovebirds up yet?” “Nope. They’re still in there.” “Heard some rustling around a minute or two ago. Wonder if they woke up and freaked out…” “Like I did?” “Aw man, why does my ass hurt?” Meogth walked out of his room in different clothes than when Kelly had seen him in minutes ago. He was rubbing his ass as if it really hurt. The girls looked at him and died. He gave Kelly a little glance that seemed to say, hey man, all in good fun. Kelly chucked a empty beer bottle at him and it hit the side of the door. It didn’t break, Kelly hadn’t thrown it that hard. “Where’s Albert, Megoth? This place is a disaster.” “Don’t… don’t know Kelly. Why were we in bed together?” “Ms. Trish and Ms. Sandy thought it would be funny.” “It was funny.” “I can’t wait to tell everyone.” “No… no Kelly… what I’m saying… if we… we were… if we were passed out, how did such little girls lift us both and put us both in bed?” “You saying we ain’t strong?” “Hush, Trish. Good point, Megoth. Sandy, how did you get us in bed together?” “I told Megoth I would meet him in his room and Trish told you that she would meet you in his room and then we both watched as you both walked into the room.” “That… that… it’s not right.” “It’s what happened, Chris. They fooled us.” The girls giggled some more. “But”, Kelly said, taking an egg out of the carton, “if me and you were in the room, how did they get our clothes?” “Ew, these are your clothes?” “Good… good point, Kelly. Tell us, fair maidens, howst thou takest our clothes?” (((break))) “Feel like going out there yet?” “Actually, no.” “Me neither. It’s chilly in here, though, isn’t it?” Jake shrugged and turned from the window. He sat on the bed with his back to the wall. Faith did the same, and plopped down next to him. She pulled the sheets (she didn’t want to think that they were Kelly Rose’s sheets, even though only a few months ago this is where she wished she was) up to her necked and shivered slightly, letting out a soft, Brrrrrr. Jake looked at her and smiled. Without even thinking about it he put his arm around her. Faith hesitated for a second and then, slowly, rested her head on his chest. It was an awkward, uncomfortable moment. For some reason, Faith never felt more relaxed in such a tense, exciting, and mundane circumstance. All he is doing is trying to warm me up. Why is my heart beating a thousand miles an hour? Wait… he’s gonna ask if I’m okay (they always do). “You okay?” “Mhmm.” Baad-Bump. Jake felt his heart skip in his chest. Here he was, in Kelly’s apartment, in bed with Faith Robbins, his arm around her. Of all the things he’s been through, this scared him the most. Not of because her, he wasn’t scared of Faith, but of because of the repercussions of what this represented. Where do they go from here? His heart was beating way too fast to simple think that they could be friends anymore. This had to go somewhere. It HAD to. And that’s what frightened him the most. Faith closed her eyes, and took another shaky deep breath. Her brain reminded her instantly of Harrison. She saw a mental image of him, wearing a button down loud Hawaiian style shirt, a white turtle neck on the inside, and shorts that went down to the center of his shins. He looked ridiculous. But the turtle neck with the shorts was only the topping; the cake was the sandals, sandals she helped him buy, with the black dress socks. This is how he had left her before he got on the plane to Los Angles. --So, I guess this is it, Faithy. -I guess so, Harrison… --Are you sure. Are you sure this is the right decision? I mean, I understand it logically that I’ll be 3,000 miles away in the Land of the Lost Angels, but, emotionally, in my heart, in my stomach, maybe--- -I think it’s the right way to go. --People have done it. I’ve heard of couples that have shared love for further distances than what lies behind that door. -I know that you really didn’t have a choice to go away, Harry, for your… career, and all, but I’m not one of those girls who could be in love with an e-mail message or phone call. I’m sorry… and this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, one of, anyway, but… I can’t say I’m sorry enough. --Maybe… you’re right. I will… miss you, Faith Lisa Robbins. I will miss you. Faith never had the heart to tell him that her middle name wasn’t Lisa. Who would name their kid Faith Lisa? Why she was thinking of him now didn’t shock her too much. She was with a boy, and the only cross reference she had with another boy was Harrison. Well, there was almost Kelly Rose, what did happen with that? She couldn’t quite put her finger on what had happened after Kelly went to kiss her… Jake shifted his arm, and for a second, she was afraid that he would move it. He didn’t, just shifted it, and she was relieved. “Faith…” Jake had shifted his arm, it was going numb, and had gained the courage to speak again. If there was one thing he learned with Mecca and Nikki, communication is the way to go. If something was going to happen between Faith and himself, maybe the right thing to do was talk about it. “Yes?” “Hi.” It was all he could think of to say, and inside him Cool, Macho Jake kicked Wuss Jake in the face. (((break))) Kelly handed the plate to Trish, who smiled at him, and he knew what that smile meant. Trish was the kind of chick who always looked and smelled great. A little too great. Kelly thought that she dressed up a bit too much, always with the make-up and designer clothes. Not really his style, not like… Mercy. But here, without all the “context”, wearing a tee shirt and boxers, she looked the best she ever looked. Maybe a bit too thin, but damn, did she ever have nice— “Got any catsup?” “There will be no pouring of tomato product over eggs in my house, Trish.” “But I want catsup for my eggs.” “Where the hell are you from that you say catsup instead of ketchup?” “Long Island.” “Fuck, you too? Am I surrounded by stupid Long Islanders? Sandy! Hey, Sandy, where are you from?” Kelly almost said Big Nips when he called her name for the second time. “New York!” Kelly threw Trish a glance and she smiled. Obviously Sandy wasn’t all up there. “Where in New York?” “Lancaster.” “Isn’t that Penn-“ “There’s a Lancaster in New York too, it’s only about a half hour west of here. North west.” “I didn’t even know there was a more north and west of here.” “So no catsup?” “Only if you never say ‘catsup’ again.” She turned away with her plate and her eyes stayed on his. “No promises…” Kelly watched her walk back to the couch holding his spatula in his hands. See, that’s symbolism. (((break))) “I’m gonna go see if my eggs are ready”, Trish said, getting up off the couch. Megoth watched her get up. He then adjusted his gaze back to where he was, in front of the TV with Sandy. He did a little head clearing head shake and picked up the controller. “Why isn’t it working?” Some girls are bad at videogames, Megoth thought, and that’s fine. He’s spent countless years refining his eye to hand coordination, hours upon hours of training and a touch of natural talent at it ranks him one of the best in the world (a legend in his own mind). But girls, maybe the only exposure they’ve had to games is Atrai 2600, Frogger, Pac-Man, maybe even a bit of Tetris. Usually they could pick it up and catch on to a slightly below average level, which means, playable. Kelly Rose got that far, and a bit farther. She actually beat him once in a game of Soul Caliber. True, she had her top off and the glow of the television off naked boob was much more interesting to Megoth than fighting games, but even at his worst he could usually beat someone’s best. Yeah, she was awesome. Sandy, on the other hand, was worse than horrible. “You have to, uh, push the left shoulder button to do… uh…” She had the habit of holding the controller in front of her and moving it instead of the D-Pad or Analog Stick. As if moving the entire controller left or right would move the guy on the screen who was relentlessly being killed by evil henchman and guard dogs. Rabid guard dogs. “This game sucks, got any others?” “Um… this is by far the easiest game I have, Sandy.” “Can we just watch TV then? I don’t feel like playing anymore anyway.” She placed the controller down on the ground in the middle of a life. Megoth gasped. A rabid guard dog scored another victory. “What day is it?” Megoth quickly ejected Contra out of his PS2, made sure there were no scratches, popped it back in the case, and placed the case back in the rack in between Shinobi and Mortal Kombat. His “retro games” section. He then looked at Sandy, who was starring at the black TV screen. “I think it’s Sunday. I’m not sure, though.” “Yeah, that’s right, Sunday. Cause Kelly’s B-Day was the 2nd, which was yesterday.” “Ah.” “So how drunk did you get last night?” “Pretty drunk. I… I usually… I usually don’t like to drink, but, last night, I did.” “Ah. I was pretty ripped, man. Good times, right?” “Yes, I believe the right words are, in fact, good times.” Kelly called over and asked where she was from. They had their exchange. She looked over at Megoth when it was over with kind of sad puppy dog eyes. “I think Kelly likes Trish.” A couple of months ago Megoth would have been angry, jealously overwhelming him. That was when he liked Trish. He had liked them all at one time, Faith, Mercy, Trish (especially Trish, but why exactly, why did she seem so much closer than the rest, even though they had barely talked…), Mecca, Amber (of the Wonder Twins, though he wasn’t interested in Karen), and Kelly and Jake had gotten them all. That was, of course, before he had sex with Kelly’s sister. “Really? I couldn’t tell.” “Oh, it’s obvious, but it’s okay, she likes him too.” “Um…” “But that’s okay too.” Megoth didn’t like her sudden change in tone of voice. He knew what was coming next. And it was clearly apparent to him now. Duh. Faith and Jake in Kelly’s room. Trish and Kelly over there. And here, Megoth and Sandy Duncan. Megoth noted the sheer absurdity of saying his name and Sandy Duncan’s together would cause out of context. Speaking of sheer absurdity, he didn’t know what to say next. She moved herself a little closer to him, and he felt mortified. “Know why that’s okay?” He did know, but for the love of God, played as dumb as he could. “W… why?” “Because, I like you, and you like me…” She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, he was frozen. Sure, she smelled good, and felt REALLY good, but he couldn’t… he was… obligated to another. “S… Sandy…” “Shh…” “Hey, get your tongue out of his ear!” Saved by Trish. She sat down on the couch with her eggs, giving them a I-Can’t-Believe-What-You-Two-Crazies-Are-Doing, flashing a sign of You-Get-Yours-You-Two, which made Megoth blush. It was the worst form of pity imaginable. Goddess Trish gives her approval. Megoth felt like puking. “If you can get away from him for a second, Sandy, I think Kelly was about to make you some eggs.” “Oooh, good, I love eggs. Want to come, Chris?” “Uh, sure!” Megoth simply could not believe he was playing the part they laid out for him. He was going to kill Kelly. She grabbed his hand, and he got up. Over in the corner, he eyed A.L.B.E.R.T., who was sitting idle. He gave A.L.B.E.R.T. a dirty look. Stupid robot. Then again, if it wasn’t for the fact that A.L.B.E.R.T. helped the girls move Kelly and Megoth into bed together (not to mention fresh clothes), who knows what kind of horrors would have happened. In some way, Megoth would like to think it was A.L.B.E.R.T.’s idea in the first place for the joke. (((break))) Faith and Jake were silent for a very long time, Jake had his eyes closed but was more wide awake than he had ever been. The echoes of “Hi” resonated in his head and he knew it was something he would always feel stupid for. In his death bed, on the planet Gamdar, Jake knew he would regret not one thing but saying “Hi” to Faith after they shared a bed together that one snowy night in Kelly’s apartment. The wall was cold behind him, his back was freezing and most likely numb. He didn’t want to say anything or move for the fear of ruining what could be the greatest moment of his life. Cool, Macho Jake was steaming. Kiss her, you fuckoff! Kiss her and then maybe, for the first time in MONTHS, you could have SEX again! Remember SEX Jake! Imagine SEX with her!! Wuss Jake disagreed. It’s too early. Don’t kiss her. It’s waaaaaay too early. Take this one slow, man, this is what we’ve been waiting for for almost two and a half years. Think about, take it slow, don’t mess it up, sex all the time, she has her own apartment now! Cool, Macho Jake agreed that apartment sex sounded good, and they both feel asleep. “Faith?” Where the hell did that come from? Who the hell approved speech?!!? “Yes?” “I’m sorry I said ‘hi’ before.” “I thought it was cute.” What the hell do I say now? “Um…” “How’s your arm, Jake, am I hurting it?” His arm was numb from the cold of the wall he was protecting her from, and burning from the needles that was stabbing it from the fact he hadn’t moved it in eight years. Wasn’t life easier invulnerable? “It’s fine, Faith, are you good?” “I’m good.” “Good.” The air outside swished and swirled around and beated the window every few moments with ice and snow. It’s constant low hiss and whistle set the mood almost perfectly. Everytime Faith had wanted to say something, the wind would kick up a bit and she felt the noise, even though there practically wasn’t any, would drown her out. Each time she wanted to move a little bit, her neck had one quite painful spasm, her shoulder was in shreds, the cold air would touch her a little deeper and movement wasn’t possible. That, and she never, ever wanted to move from this position again. This, she believed, was it. Why hasn’t he kissed me yet? The door opened slowly and Kelly peaked his head in. “Everyone decent in here?” Faith shot up and Jake slowly drew his arm back to himself for fear it might fall off if moved too quickly. “Define decent”, Jake smiled. “Right. Anyway, guys, I’m making eggs, does anyone want any eggs?” Jake and Faith looked at each other. They both nodded. “Make us eggs, Kelly Rose.” “You got it, Faith Robbins.” Kelly closed the door and Jake and Faith were left in the blizzard alone. “Eggs”, she smiled. “Yeah”, Jake said, barley speaking, “Eggs.” He leaned his head in and softly kissed her.    
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EVERYTHING JAKE is TM & (C) 2000-2011 by Mike Rosenzweig. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
