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Everything Jake #832: Junior Year Thanksgiving at Home By Mike Rosenzweig “Jake?” “Dad! What took you so long to answer?” “I’m at work. It’s busy.” “Oh, yeah. Heh heh. So what’s up for Thursday?” “It’s Thanksgiving.” “You must be really busy, eh?” “You didn’t know it was Thanksgiving, Jake?” “You didn’t know what I meant?” “Heh heh. Just joshing with ya, son.” “Apparently.” “You should drive home tonight, Jake, weather people say to expect snow down here…” “Dad, you do realize we’ve been digging out of six feet of snow for the last three weeks, right? What kind of snow are they expecting on Long Island for Thursday?” “Um. One to three.” “Feet?” “Inches.” Jake laughs uncontrollably, his dad hopes he is fake laughing, there’s no way his son could ever laugh so stupidly “I had three inches of snow this morning for breakfast, dad, no biggie. And plus, Faith has one more test today, then we’ll leave tomorrow.” “So you and Faith, finally together.” “I wouldn’t say that, one hundred percent, anyway.” “The way I hear you talk you sound quite smitten with that girl, Jake, there was always something between you two…” “You’ve said that before, dad, and do me a favor? Never, ever say ‘smitten’ again in front of me, okay? I guess you could say we’re ‘together’, but we really haven’t made it ‘official’ yet…” “Does that mean have sex?” “DAD!!” “What? What does it mean then?” “It means that we haven’t talked about if we’re actually boyfriend slash girlfriend yet. I’m sure that there’s no denying that fact, but as far as actually saying it out loud, not yet. I’m thinking about asking her on the car ride down.” “To have sex with you?” “DAD! Quit it!” “So no sex?” “I swear sometimes I forget why I even call you.” “Because I’m your father, and you love me. Listen, your favorite uncle is flying in from California with your favorite cousin on Wednesday—“ “Really? I was thinking about going out there this summer to visit.” “Well, you can talk about it with them. Is your girlfriend coming over for dinner?” “She might. And she’s not my girlfriend, yet. I might actually go over to her house for a bit, it’s just gonna be her mom and brother, you know…” “They’re welcome over for cake and coffee after, Jake, you know that, I’m just glad you have a girlfriend this time that we can invite her family over.” “Why? What was wrong with Mecca’s family?” “They were black.” “Sometimes, dad, your jokes are not funny.” “Sorry, wait, Faith’s a Jew right? No Jews in the house either. Sorry, Jake.” “If Uncle Bobby and Mitchell are coming over, and I’m going to Faith’s, and I promised Tom and Rich I’d go to Pete’s party… crap… this weekend is not going to be relaxing at all.” “It’s the holidays, Jake, it never is relaxing. So what do you want for Christmas?” “Nothing. Peace on Earth, Goodwill to all Men.” “You know your father is a lawyer, right?” “How about a XBox then?” “What the hell is a Xbox?” “Never mind. How about that apartment next semester?” “You’re already paid for the dorm, Jake, I didn’t realize that it wasn’t cool for third year kids to get places of their own, and when it was time to pay you got hurt in London and I had to make a decision. Your roomie can’t be all that bad, can he?” “No, it’s just…” “It’s just what?” “Just… I dunno…” “He is there, isn’t he?” “Yeah.” “Gotcha, we’ll talk when you come down.” “Hey Dad, is, uh, Hector working today?” “Hector still is on leave, Jake. Do you want me to try and find a number you can reach him at?” “No. Maybe… no.” “You sure?” “Yes.” “Listen, Jake, I’m going to get off the phone with you now, but you’re welcome to stay on the line and listen to the groovy tune I got playing on the hold.” “I’ll seeya on Wednesday, dad.” “Drive safe, kiddo, okay? Love ya…” “Love ya too, dad, I’ll be careful driving… always am.”    
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EVERYTHING JAKE is TM & (C) 2000-2011 by Mike Rosenzweig. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
