|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
 7:00 am Jake woke up feeling awful. His head was pounding and his throat had that ache that comes from having smoked too much recently. He crawled into the bathroom and turned on the light. It hit him with intense brightness giving him an ache in his eyes to match the rest of his head. Taking a piss he hacked a nasty brown chunky loogie into the toilet. What was it that he’d heard someone call those smokers loogies before? Was it lung butter? That sounded right. Whatever it was he was glad to have it out of his throat. Still feeling like shit Jake went back to his room and started getting dressed. While doing so he tried to remember how much he’d had to drink last night. He wasn’t quite sure, but he knew he’d put away at least a case worth. It was that moment that Jake decided that getting drunk on a school night was probably a bad idea. At least today was Friday and he could crawl home after class with nothing else required of him all weekend. Before heading out Jake stopped and tried to recall what class he had first. He ended up having to find his schedule to remember. Feeling like there was a mosh pit in his skull and everyone had been invited Jake walked out the door. 3:30 Pm By the time his English class rolled around Jake was feeling marginally better. His head had cleared a bit and his throat felt better. He still felt shitty, but only less so and consoled himself with the fact that he was one class away from being able to go home and crawl back into bed. Towards the end of the class Professor Flannery explained the latest homework assignment. “We’re going to focus on collaborative writing with this assignment. You’ll all be paired up with someone else and given a topic to write a short story about. To encourage spontaneity in your writing the pairings and the topics will be randomly.” Flannery then started pulling names out of a hat and reading them off. Jake lifted his head when he heard his name called “Jake Bruno will be working with… Greg Basore”. After all the names had been read the students moved around to sit next to their assigned partners. Jake glanced to his left to see Greg moving towards his desk. Great this was all he needed, being partnered up with Creepy Greg. As always he was wearing his stupid looking black hat and shades. With his black t-shirt, flannel and scraggly beard he looked like a weird hybrid of Goth and Grunge, a Groth Jake thought without amusement. Professor Flannery then instructed on member of each pair to come up to the front of the class and draw a topic out of a second hat. Creepy Greg looked over at Jake “Do you wanna pick or should I?” Jake grunted “I don’t care” and Greg went up to the front of the class to dig into the hat. He came back with a piece of paper and handed it to Jake. It had one word on it ‘dreams’. “The assignments must be a minimum of 2000 pages” Flannery went on “and are due on Monday. So I suggest that you spend as much time as you can this weekend in front of a key board.” Jake groaned. Suddenly this week end didn’t seem nearly as pleasant as he had been thinking. Later Jake walked out of class talking with Creepy Greg and still feeling miserable. Greg: “So do you want to get started on this thing tonight?” Jake: “Naw. I’m feeling like crap. I need to get home and get some sleep. How about sometime tomorrow?” Greg: “Well tomorrow is gonna be a problem. I’m goin to a concert with some friends. We’re supposed to leave around 2 or 3 and don’t expect to be back til late. So that’d leave us with only Sunday to work.” Jake: “Shit. Well tell ya what, how bout I go and crash for a couple of hours and we meet back up then?” Greg: “Okay it’s about 4 right now. What say I get ahold of ya at 7?” Jake: “Yeah lemme give ya my number.” Walking off Jake spotted Kelly and Faith. “Hey what’s up guys?” Kelly: “Nothin much. Was that Creepy Fuck you were just talking to?” Jake: “Yeah, I got stuck being his partner in a writing assignment that’s due Monday. So I have to hang out with him this weekend and come up with a story having something to do with dreams.” Faith raised an eyebrow “Who’s Creepy Fuck?” Kelly: “He’s this guy that hangs around campus. He hardly ever says anything, and is always popping up when no one seems to be looking.” Faith: “What like jumping out of the bushes?” Jake: “No like some people will be having a conversation and he’ll make a comment. But before he said anything no one can recall him walking up or standing around. It’s like he just pops up out of nowhere. He’s always got this creepy look like he’s thinking about dead babies or something.” Kelly: Hence the nickname Creepy Fuck, as in “that creepy fuck”. Jake: “Course some people call him Creepy Greg.” Kelly: “I hadn’t heard that.” Jake: “Yeah someone found out his name was Greg so now he’s gone from Creepy Fuck, to Creepy Greg, or sometimes Creepy Fuckin Greg.” Regarding Jake and Kelly reproachfully Faith said “Maybe the reason he seems so creepy is because no one takes the time to get to know him.” Jake: “Trust me Faith, if you met him you wouldn’t want to get to know him.” Faith: “Well that still doesn’t make it right to call people mean names.” And with that she stormed off. Jake suddenly remembered all the shit Faith had put up with in school with people calling her “Fatty” Faith Robbins. Feeling like an idiot Jake turned to Kelly who stood there smirking. “I know you have to go” he told Jake “Catch up with quick.” Jake spent the next hour apologizing to Faith back at his room. It had taken a lot of effort to convince her to even go over there. Though she’d calmed down a lot, she was still not too cheery when she took off. After that Jake dived into bed wishing he could just the world off for a week. 7:15 Jake took another bit of his burger savoring the taste. It felt like forever since he’d had a really good hamburger. He hated to admit it, but going out for food had been a really great idea on Creepy Greg’s part. Food had been the last thing that Jake had wanted upon waking up, but Greg had been insistent. As much better as he felt, Jake was willing to admit in so many words. “See, best thing for a hang over man.” Greg smirked. Jake chuckled. “Was it that obvious?” Greg simply nodded. “So getting down to business how do you wanna approach this story?” Jake thought that over for a moment. “I don’t know, other than trying to figure out something with dreams I haven’t really thought about it. You got any ideas?” Greg: “Yeah I was thinking about exploring how dreams can establish their own plausible reality.” Jake: Come again? Greg: Have you ever noticed how the silliest stupidest things make total sense in a dream?” Jake: “Yeah now that you mention it. I once dreamed that there was a big protest on campus about the abuse of basket balls. All these people were outside the gym waving signs, and some basket balls were making speeches in front of a microphone. Talking basketballs is of course silly…” Greg: “But it makes sense when you’re dreaming.” Jake: “Exactly.” Greg: “But even more impressive to me than overt big things like that, are the subtle little things.” Jake: “Like what?” Greg: “Well I’ll give you an example.” “In 2001 I went out to Albany Oregon to visit some old buddies and for my friend Justin’s wedding. One night I was crashin at his place. I had this dream where we cruising around. We end up going down some tree covered road out in the boonies. As the trees start to give out we look around and we’re on a different street coming up past a Conoco Gas Station. “Justin’s all ‘dude I don’t think we’re in Albany’, and I’m like ‘I know for a fact we aren’t in Albany cause I know where we are.” He of course asks where we are and I say ‘Ponca City Oklahoma’. That by the way is the town where my dad grew up and I lived for a few years. Justin responds that it’s pretty weird that we’re all the way in Oklahoma, but takes in stride. “Then we’re walking through the parking lot of Hastings. That’s a video store in Ponca by the way. Anyhow there’s now transitional moment between driving and walking. No parking, no getting outta the car, nothin. One second we’re in the car, the next were a block down the road on foot. One moment just shifted to the next without us noticing. “As we’re headed for the video store Justin’s car jumps a curb and swings into the parking lot. It starts bitching us out for ditching it. It’s talking to us in car, not English by the way. Somehow we can now understand car. So we get back in and continue down 14th street. The car’s explaining things about car culture to us. Like for example a car considers the open highway to be heaven, the drive way to be purgatory and hell is a junk yard. They also feel incomplete if they’re driverless. “So as were passing this place where a grocery store used to be the car bust a wide u-turn into the parking lot. It then pulls up next to this girl I know named Claire. She’s got a bottle of vodka or some kind of hard liquor and is all happy to see me. So I open my door, or the car does. Claire gets in and sits on my lap. We start passing the bottle back and forth between us and Justin as the car drives us around. “Then I wake up on the couch outside Justin’s apartment. Not remembering why I’m sleeping outside I go in and head for the kitchen to get some breakfast. Justin’s in there so I start talking to him about the dream. Before I get too far into someone knocks on the door, and it turns out to be Larry Arnold, a buddy of mine from Ponca. He tells me that Karl (my room mate in Ponca) just got taken to the hospital and needs to see me right away. “So I say bye to Justin telling him I’ll be back in time for the wedding and get into Larry’s car. In order to save time Larry tells me that we’ll be taking the Arizona short cut. It’s this really interesting short cut that’s caused by a rift in the fabric of the space time continuum out in the middle of the Arizona desert. At some point as we’re driving down a deserted highway with dry sand on both sides and weird geometric shapes, I wake up. I wake up on the couch, inside Justin’s house.” Jake sat back in awe. For a guy who was so quiet all the time, Greg sure could talk a storm. Greg grinned at him. “Now tell me, what in your opinion would be the weirdest thing about that dream?” Jake: “Umm… I’d say the weird rift in Arizona, with the talking car being a close second.” Greg: “Yeah most people pick one of those. Usually the rift. For me how ever the weirdest part by far, was Claire.” Jake: “Lemme guess, in real life Claire is a lot more reserved. Probably doesn’t drink or get flirtatious at all.” Greg: “No it’s the fact that Claire doesn’t exist at all.” Jake: “Really?” Greg: “Yup. I don’t even know anybody named Claire. And while I can’t recall what she looked like in the dream, I know she didn’t resemble anyone I know in real life. But within the context of that dream, she was not only real but familiar. I knew her just as well as I knew Justin or Larry. Well maybe not Justin, cause at that point I’d known him for more than five years. But I knew her as well as Larry who I’d known for a year. I seemed to recall past moments and experiences with her and everything.” Jake: “Damn that is eerie.” Greg: “I know. The other thing that was weird was waking up outside Justin’s apartment.” Jake: “Because of the whole waking up from one dream into another dream thing.” Greg: “Not really that. It was the waking up on the couch outside his apartment when he in fact lived in a house instead. The exterior of the apartment actually looked like the outside of the place my dad and god sister Wendy were living at the time. But the inside was just like Justin’s House. That was another thing I took for granted in the dream. Not as silly as talking cars and basketballs, still weird though. But…” Jake: “It makes sense when you’re dreaming.” Greg: “Exactly.” Jake: “We should definitely do a story like that.” Greg: “Hell yeah I was also thinking…” Before Greg finished his sentence someone shouted “Hey Basore!” Three guys filed into the restaurant and up to their table. The tall guy with the long beard said “hey dude there’s a party going on down at the Storm Crows house tonight. He asked me to bring you along if I could find you. I been looking for you all day.” “I told you we’d find him at the box car man.” A short guy with tiny shades spoke up. Greg: “Hey guys let’s get the intros out’ve the way first. Jake this is Troy, Jacks, and Mark other wise known as the damage brothers. Brothers this is Greg.” Troy: “So you guys feel like partying tonight.?” Jake: “I dunno, we have a pretty big assignment to work on.” Greg: “Let’s consider this inspirational research then. Nothing helps a good story like mixing a little reality into a dream or vice versa. We can do some writing later.” Jake: “Yeah what the hell.” After they paid the tab and walked out of the diner, Jake looked back over his shoulder. Something about that restaurant shaped like a train car seemed vaguely familiar. 5 Minutes After the diner On the way Jake realized that he should give Faith a call and see if she wanted to come with. Stopping by a pay phone he was offered a cell phone by Troy. Jake: “Hi honey. It’s me.” Faith: “Hi sweety what’s up?” Jake was glad to hear that Faith sounded genuinely better and calmed down since this afternoon. Jake: “Well Greg and I were talking about approaches on that assignment, and some friends of his showed up to invite us to a party. Wanted to see if you’d like us to pick you up.” Faith: “Well I gotta pass. Before you say anything it’s not cause I’m still mad. Some girl issues have come up.” Jake: “What kind of girl issues?” Faith: “Mandy’s having problems with her boyfriend again.” Jake: “You mean Cory, the Neo-Nazi guy that keeps a loaded gun under his pillow? I thought they broke up.” Faith: “Yeah for the fifth time. She’s been trying to reopen the lines of communication so Me, Sandy, and Trish are gonna try and talk some sense into her.” Jake: “Well good luck with that, Mandy’s never struck me as the sensible type.” Faith: “Yeah, but a woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do.” Jake: “Then take care of your business and report in if the mission goes awry.” Faith: “Will do lover boy. But before you get off the phone you have to admit that I was right.” Jake: “About?” Faith: “That guy that you and Kelly call creepy fuck. You just referred to him as Greg.” Jake: “Yeah you were right honey. I totally recant my earlier statement.” Faith: “Then say it.” Jake: “I just did. I said I totally recant the statement I made this afternoon.” Faith: “Say the whole thing so everyone around you can listen.” Jake: “Okay, but only cause it’s you. I hereby recant my earlier statement that the nicknames Creepy Fuck and Creepy Greg are fitting for the guy that Professor Flannery teamed me up with for this writing assignment. Is that satisfactory?” Faith: “Yes honey it is. See ya sometime late tomorrow afternoon. Love ya babe.” Jake: “Then I’ll see you tomorrow honey. Love ya too.” Of course everyone was eyeballing him when Jake got off the phone. He started to say something but Greg was quicker with his tongue. Greg: “So they’ve started calling me Creepy Greg now? Damn! Creepy Fuck has such a nicer ring to it.” And in accordance with the rules of hangin out with the guys Jake had to endure fifteen minutes of heckling and harassment. 25 minutes after that By the time they got to the Hooligan House as Jake learned it was called, they’d picked up 7 other people. Consider that they hadn’t dropped anyone off and Troy was driving a Chevy Cavalier Jake would’ve been glad to get out at a house from Resident Evil Zero or Silent Hill 3. At least he would’ve been before finding out about the soul tax. Jake: “What the fuck is a soul tax?” Storm Crow: “If you wanna hang here you give me 5% of your immortal soul for 5 years. If you wanna hang here, be able to smoke, and have access to alcohol it’s 10% of your soul for 3 years. If you also want access to hard drugs it’s 15% for two years.” Jake: “You’re kidding right?” Greg: “Nope he aint. Don’t worry though. It’s a one time fee that good for partying for the rest of your life. Any night that you need to go to a party you’re allowed to show up here. Oh and there’s stunt and things you can do to get back percentages of your given soul.” Jake: “Weeeell… what the fuck.” Jake soon found out that the fee was well worth it. There were fifteen kegs for domestic beer alone. 25 for foreign and more kinds of liquor than Jake had ever heard of or even though existed at all. After about ten or twenty minutes some guy in a bright orange trench coat with an inverted mohawk came up and asked Jake to hold his drink while he took a piss. After another five minutes Jake wondered where the guy was. After yet another five minutes and running out of the second beer he’d started on since taking the cup Jake decided to take a swig and found whatever it was surprisingly good. Another 15 minutes down the line Jake was feeling a lot better for having come here. Yeah he’d regret it in the morning, but right now he didn’t care. Everything seemed so sharp and clear to him. Things were making so much sense it should’ve been scary but it wasn’t. He’d even figured out the perfect thing to do to brighten up Faiths day tomorrow. Not as a way to make up for that comment earlier, just because he could. He’d also figured out the perfect angle for the girls to use in talking Mandy into giving up on Cory for good. His other senses also felt keener and more on the spot. Despite the fact that the music whatever it might be was rattling the windows Jake could hear conversation from across the room. Standing fifteen feet away Jake found that he was able to count the fibers on the curtains. If he stretched his line of sight he could almost count the molecules. The cup in his hand was feeling heavier and bigger by the moment. It almost felt like he could feel it’s weight, it’s exact weight. Jake imagined that if he put some thought into he could tell someone the weight at least to the 113th digit pas the decimal point. Standing against the wall Jake caught something out’ve the corner of his eye. Turning his head to the right he noticed a black hat bobbing up and down. Walking over closer he saw Greg jamming on the dance floor. Jake: “WHAT’S UP MAN?” Greg: “WHAT?” Jake: “I SAID WHAT’S UP MAN?” Greg: “OH. I’M JUST BUSTIN A GROOVE!” Jake: “WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE LISTENING TO?” Greg: “IT’S SOME JAPANESE GANSTA RAP GROUP CALLED SHAKKAZOMBIE.” Jake: “SOUNDS FUCKIN WEIRD.” Greg: “YEAH IT’S THE LAST SONG BEFORE THE STEREO GETS SHUT DOWN.” Jake: “WHY’S THE STEREO GONNA BE SHUT OFF?” Greg: “WHAT?!” Jake: “I SAID WHY IS THE STEREO GONNA BE SHUT OFF?” Some random girl to Jake’s left: “CAUSE THE FREESTYLE COMP IS ABOUT TO START!” Jake: “WHAT?!” Some Random Girl: “I SAID THAT STORM CROW IS ABOUT TO START THE FREESTYLE COMPETITION.” At the same time that the music died Jake said “WHAT IS THE FREESTYLE COMPETITION?” Storm Crow: “Well if you have to ask that makes you our first volunteer.” Jake: “What am I volunteering for?” Storm Crow: “The freestyle competition of course.” Jake: “Well what is it?” Storm Crow: “That’s where everybody gives me a rhyme a poem or something as tribute for the cool party.” Jake: “I thought that’s what the soul tax was for?” Storm Crow: “Yeah but the soul tax is mandatory, the freestyle isn’t.” Jake: “So what do I gotta do?” Storm Crow: “You don’t have to do anything, but if you don’t you lose serious cool points.” Jake: “I’m not good at speaking in front of crowds, but I suppose that I could…” Greg: “DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!!!” An eerie and uncomfortable pause filled the room. Jake realized that all eyes were on him. Jake: “What’s what?” Greg: “That in your hand?!!”  Looking at the faces of everyone looking at him Jake realized that all eyes were also focused on the same area of him. Following the eyes he looked down at the drink in his hand. Jake: “What this? Some dude needed to take a piss and asked me to hold his beer. He never came back so I decided to finish it off for him. I’d’ve been done with it by now except the cup is so fucking huge.” The room filled with audible gasps. The girl that had mentioned the freestyle competition put her finger under Jake’s chin and turned his head until he met her eyes. Random Girl: “He had a short hair cut with a bald patch down the middle like a reverse mohawk and was wearing a bright orange trench coat.” It took a moment for Jake to realize that this was not a question. He timidly found his lips forming the words ‘yeah why?’ as he heard Storm Crow shout “SOMEBODY FIND THAT MOTHER FUCKER AND BRING ME HIS SCALP RIGHT FUCKIN NOW! WHOEVER DOES GET’S A FREE SOUL. AND IT WON’T BE A COMPOSITE EITHER!” as a mad rush began for the doors, Jake noticed that Greg heart beat had increased. Looking around he saw Greg running towards him. Turning his head Jake locked a stare to the girl with the sunglasses colored eyes. Jake: “What the fuck is in this?” Girl: “Well let me put it this way. The LSD 25 is put in to make the trip milder.” Some indeterminate number of minutes further into the night Securing the straps Greg looked at Jake. “I’m sorry to have to do this but it will really be for your own good.” Jake: “Why will it be for my own good?” Greg: “Well let’s put it this way, the last guy that Roark slipped that stuff to went on a one week rampage that ended causing 30,000,000 in property damages and 1,500 casualties.” The look in his eyes told Jake that Greg wasn’t kidding. He had to concentrate to keep focused now. Greg’s proportions were starting to stretch and distort. The air was also starting to turn a metallic shade of blue. Jake: “What the fuck did I just drink?” Greg: “It’s something called viaona marcon formula sixteen. The street name is Viddy Mack. Roark managed to smuggle a very large quantity when he was stationed at Area 47 and…” Jake: “Area 47? Isn’t that Area 51 that you mean?” Greg: “No, that’s the one where the government pretends to do alien experiments to keep people from turning a curious eye to Area 62. Anyway A47 is where the government has been continuing the MK Ultra program for the last 20 or so years. It’s also their top chemical factory where they developed LSD, Crack, Ecstasy and Aurora.” Jake: “What’s aurora?” Greg: “That the stuff that guys take when they… no wait that’s not due on the streets til ’05 so nevermind. Jake: “Why are you telling me this stuff? Shouldn’t it be like, highly classified?” Greg: “It is, but you’re not going to remember any of this anyhow so I figure what the fuck. Anyway quit getting off topic. VMF 16 is the latest drug that the government developed for their psychic training program. It can have some devastating effects especially on people with paranormal conditions and abilities. Speaking of which do you have any?” Jake: “Any what?” Greg: “Weird powers or conditions. Do you ever walk through walls, or dream of the future, or influence the decision of people around you? Any shit like that?” Jake: “Well I used to have telekinesis, but I lost that awhile back.” Greg: “Shit. When it rains… So how did it happen and how long ago?” Jake: “I don’t remember and last summer.” Greg: “Then there’s more than likely still a resonance left. This is very dangerous because if you have even an inkling of power left the VMF could cause you to start using that without realizing what you’re doing. It’s also got a property whereby it renders users immune to sedatives, so we can’t knock your ass out.” Jake: “So what happens now?” Greg: “Normally this would be in your system for a week. However I know of a way to accelerate in so that it only takes a day or two. For that day or two we’ll have to keep you here though.” Jake: “How would you accelerate it?” Greg: “Basically I can tap into your body functions and speed up your metabolism. This will require round the clock surveillance because we’ll need to spend two days feeding you what you’d normally eat in one week. The other major draw back is that it will intensify the hallucinations by about 10 fold. That has the back handed benefit that it will render your body more docile though, so you’re less likely to try and break out of your restraints.” Jake: “Get a hold of Faith and Kelly and let them know what’s up, then do it.” Greg: “Okay, anyone else you want to have me contact.” Jake almost told him to call Hector or Jenkins, then decided against it. They’d made their choices and made things clear that Jake was no longer apart of their special little club so fuck them. Jake: “Naaaw.” Greg: “All right then get ready.” Greg closed his eyes and started breathing deeply. He reached out with his first two fingers from his right hand tapped Jake in the forehead. Jake was about to ask how soon he should feel something when the room started melting… Some time after time stops meaning jack shit… Jake had spent the last who knew how long watching the room melt back and forth. It’d melt into a puddle and melt back into a room and then back to a puddle. After a while it started to solidify. Jake then heard something, it was the sound of dripping. He looked over to his left and noticed that a leak in the roof was dripping green liquid on the floor. As he studied it he also noticed that the water drops were stacking onto each other into a shape. After what felt like the longest time that shape turned out to be a small leg or something. After more time it started to from into an animal. Eventually Jake realized that it was gonna be a turtle. When it finally finished forming It looked and Jake and twitched its head to the right like it was signaling Jake to come with it. Then it took off out the door. Water kept dripping from the ceiling, faster now. Eventually another turtle formed and did the same motion then left the room. The turtles kept coming faster and faster until each drop of liquid was a newly formed turtle taking off from the room. Finally a slightly bigger one dripped down and looked Jake in the eyes. Turtle: “GODDAMNIT! WILL YOU STOP SCREWING AROUND AND COME THE FUCK ON ALREADY. WE’RE RUNNING LATE AS IT IS BITCH!” Jake: “Come where now?” Turtle: “On you spirit quest you scrotum licking proto-whore. Sweet Jesus Chrysler in a fucking Buick you’re dense.” Jake: “Well I’m strapped down to this chair and…” The turtle hung his head low and sighed heavily. Turtles: “Fuck me running I bled for days…” Sticking his head back up he locked eyes with Jake again. Turtles: “So did you not pay like any fuckin attention to the Penguin Shaman at all you miserably stupid cock monkey?” Jake: “What penguin?” Turtle: “The one that got here an hour ago you brain dead ass master!” Jake: “There was no penguin.” Turtle: “THAT SON OF A BITCH! Well looks like Francolin fucked me again. Sorry bout being a dick then. Anyway my names Garret, now follow me and let’s get this shit over with.” Jake: “STRAAAAPT TOOO THEEEE CHAAAAAIR. Do you understand what that means.” Garret: “Jesus why do I always get the dumb fucks. Look kid this is a spirit quest. That means it’s all in your head. So get out’ve that fuckin chair right now! Jake found that it really was as easy as Garret said. Besides he couldn’t think of any reason why he should stay in it. He seemed to remember someone telling him to stay put or something, but they must have been bad guys. Good guys don’t do stuff like that, and he and Faith didn’t do stuff like that (though not for lack of effort on his part). So whoever put him in the chair must have had a bad reason for it. Walking out the door noticed that everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion. Not really caring about that he looked down at what he guessed was his spirit animal. Jake: “So uh Garret, where are we going anyway?” Garret: “Don’t ask, you’re not supposed to ask so much on a spirit journey, you’re supposed to listen and observe. Besides it’s not the destination that always matters, sometimes it’s the enjoyment you get from the trip.” Jake: “Can I at least ask how far we have to travel?” Garret: “Sure that’s cool. We only have to go about 5000 miles.” Jake: “Oh just my luck to be following a turtle that far. This is gonna take forever!” Garret: “On the contrary Mr. Bruno we turtles are among the fastest animals on the planet. We can certainly run rings around cheetahs.” Jake: “You’re kidding right?” Garret: “No. You see the reason you humans thing of us as so slow is that we exist on a different frequency of reality.” Jake: “Frequency?” Garret: “Yeah different realities exist on different frequencies like radio stations. Those that are close enough to each other can interact. The frequency that turtles exist on is so close to yours that we have almost complete interaction. The biggest difference is that our frequency has a different time scale than yours. So you perceive us as moving slower. Another difference is that we don’t seem to age to humans. That’s because when we reach adulthood our aging process slows down so drastically that it’s hardly noticeable on our frequency, and completely undetectable on yours due to the time difference. But because our frequencies are so damned close we’re able to interact almost like this was our home plane. Same thing with bumble bees. Physics can’t account for how they fly. That’s because they exist on another frequency that’s about as close as ours, and on their reality physics work differently. So while it makes perfect sense for them to fly on their plane, it doesn’t here, but once again the interaction makes it hard to tell these things. Bees also interact with this world like it’s home. Now if you have similar realities that are farther away from each other then the interaction is harder to maintain, and less encompassing. Ghost for example are people on a different frequency of reality that are close enough to be seen or heard, but not to have tactile interaction most cases.” Jake: “So what about snails, are they from the same frequency you are?” Turtles: “No they’re just really fuckin slow.” Jake: “So from your end of things do all the creatures on this plane seem really slow?” Garret: “Yup, that’s why you’re seeing them like that. I brought you over to my end so we could move faster. Speaking of which we’re here.” Jake looked down and noticed that he was standing on a green ring surrounded on all sides by sand. Suddenly the ground started to rumble and the green ring start to rise up. After awhile he was well over one hundred feet up. Jake realized he was standing on a giant turtle shell. Garret looked up at him and smiled as the shell started moving forward at an unimaginable pace. “Don’t worry, you can fall off my little brother’s shell so just relax.” Very soon Jake saw that they were approaching a giant tower. The top of it curved up and outward and had a giant ball of energy connected to it. It seemed to Jake that this must be the light at the end of the tunnel that people see when they almost die, only the tunnel wasn’t there. Then something moved into the path of the light partially blocking it. It took Jake a few minutes to adjust his eyes to the darkness. When he did he let out a scream. He didn’t even realize why he was screaming until it penetrated his mind that he was looking at a giant, that dwarfed even the turtle he’d ridden. He then yelped as he felt a pinch on his left leg. Garret: “Will you calm the fuck down asshole?” Jake: “Buh… buh… buh… uhhht that’s a giant! That’s like a giant giant!” Garret: “Yeah well as soon as you get off Gaylan’s back you’ll be about as big as he is.” Jake: “Gaylan? Who’s Gaylan?” Garret: “My brother that you rode here. Now get the fuck off. We have to get a waitress in Arizona and a drug dealer in Oregon to fall in love.” The massive shell convulsed and shifted and sent Jake hurdling to the ground. Slamming his head Jake saw a hand pop out in front of his face. Taking Jake rose to his feet and looked into a face that almost made himself scream again. His helper smiled at him. “Hi Jake, I know you have a lot of questions, and I’m the best man with the answers. My name’s Jake Bruno, nice to finally meet me.” 2 cigarettes and one beer later Jake finished his cigarette and tossed it one the ground. He’d noticed between the first and second cig that he’d stopped feeling the affects of the drug so much. Things didn’t seem distorted or hazy at all. Perhaps he was still in the chair at Storm Crows house. That certainly made more sense than being face to face with an older looking version of himself that looked like a cross between himself and Hector. Now that he finally had his bearings back he could try to make sense of this situation. He started by stating the obvious. Jake: “This is fucking impossible.” Bruno: “Why?” Jake: “You can’t be me, there are not any other Jake Brunos?” Bruno: “Oh there aren’t?” Jake: “No there aren’t. I have this on very good authority.” Bruno: “Whose authority?” Jake: “Megoth’s authority.” Bruno: “Which Megoth?” Jake: “What do you mean which Megoth?” Bruno: “Well if my info is correct then by now you should have met at least three variations of Chris Megothsky.” Jake: “Well it was…” Bruno: “Wasn’t it the one that kidnapped the Megoth from your reality?” Jake: “Oh yeah, now that you mention it that was the one.” Bruno: “So are you really going to consider him a valid source of info?” Jake: “Good point. So what’s your reality like?” Bruno: “Same as yours, I’m not an alternate reality Jake.” Jake: “But you just said…” Bruno: “I didn’t say anything. I just pointed out that your logic was flawed is all. Don’t assume too much especially if you’ve heard it from an enemy.” Jake: “So are there any alternate versions of me walking around then?” Bruno: “Not that I’ve ever met, and I’ve been around quite a bit. Trust me by the time you become me you’ll be a lot better at spotting peoples bullshit.” Jake: “Wait, are you saying that you’re…” Bruno: “The man you’ll become.”  Jake: “So how the fuck is this possible?” Bruno: “Consider that it’s been a little more than a year since that third Megoth did it, I think you’d be less surprised at the concept of time travel.” Jake: “So I’m gonna have access to a time machine within the next ten years?” Bruno: “No this method doesn’t involve machines.” Jake: “Then how do you do it?” Bruno: “It’s psychic time travel. I’m projecting back through time in essence only. The hardest part is to match up the physical timing.” Jake: “How so?” Bruno: “We both have to asleep at the same time. We also have to have gone to sleep equally tired.” Jake: “So you’re saying that I’m dreaming.” Bruno: “Actually we both are. You’re asleep in the bed in my old dorm room on campus. Meanwhile I’m at home sleeping next to the woman I love more than anyone else I’ve ever met, who’s also my wife.” Jake: “But how can we both be asleep at the same time? If you’re sleeping ten years from now aren’t those different times already?” Bruno: “Well it’s a matter of being asleep at the same time of the year. And that’s hard to pull off for anyone that’s grown up with the current calendar which doesn’t match up quite right. Factor in three leap years, the changing cycles of weather and the planets rotation, not to mention trying to have an accurate clock and remembering exactly how tired you were on a specific night ten years gone and it’s a total bitch to get right. Don’t worry you’ll have plenty of practice before you become me.” Jake: “So why are you doing this now?” Bruno: “Because I’m responding to the letter that you sent me.” Jake: “Letter?” Bruno: “The one that you started writing tomorrow. Oh and when you finish writing it take it to a stationary store on the corner of Morrison Street and Quitely Avenue. Ask for a guy named Brian Horowitz and tell him that Jacob Brunowski sent you.” Jake: “So moving on, you said that I’ll be married to Faith in ten years or less...” Bruno: “No I didn’t.” Jake: “But you said the person I love more than anyone else…” Bruno: “No I said the person that I love more than anybody else. Right now in our life Faith is that person for you.” Jake: “So are you saying she isn’t be for you?” Bruno: “No, I’m just saying that you don’t have any guarantees. Don’t worry you’ll find out eventually.” Jake: “Yeah but if she’s no the one the..” Bruno: “Hey I aint tellin. I had to struggle with the same question. Besides either way if I tell you what’s gonna be, then it kills the excitement and uncertainty. Look, Jake we don’t have much time left so pay attention.” Jake: “Okay I’m all ears.” Bruno: “Then I want you to remember the following things. First: For the rest of our life don’t ever trust anybody that will not or can not shake your hand.” Second: Go easy on Professor Flannery next year. He’s going to have the worst year of his life, and your kindness will make it much easier on him. It will also make him a lot more receptive to a request for help you’ll have to make to him in 4 years, and an offer that you’ll want to make in 7. Third: No matter what comes down the pike, you will always be able to trust Kelly and Faith with anything. Fourth: In 15 years Megoth is going to do something that you’ll have to forgive him for. It’s going to hurt you like no other friend has ever hurt you. Put yourself past that anger and get over it. I’m telling you this now, because in some number of years you’ll be talking with that Jake and he’ll need your advice over anyone else’s. Fifth: In 5 years or less you’re going to meet someone. The very first time you meet him you need to kill him. Don’t ask me why just trust me. His name will be BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTSHOOOWWKKKK! Jake felt a massive electrical shock go through his whole mind. It slammed him to the ground with such a force that it felt more like the ground coming up to meet him. Jake: “What the fuck was tha…” Bruno: “If you feel a shock then don’t worry, it’s just something your mind isn’t ready for right now. You’ll remember it later. Moving on.” Sixth: “After the situation happens that gives Faith a hunger for vengeance make sure that she doesn’t BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTSHOOOWWKKKK! and also that she gets ahold of the third person that comes to mind after you talk her out of BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTSHOOOWWKKKK! Seventh: In 8 years make sure that you and Kelly completely finish the BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTSHOOOWWKKKK! Before the BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTSHOOOWWKKKK! or else you, Faith, Kelly, Megoth and Destiny will never get out alive. Eighth: Don’t ever let Mr. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTSHOOOWWKKKK! Know about the BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTSHOOOWWKKKK! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTSHOOOWWKKKK! Or bring him to the white room. Jake felt like his brain was going to burn itself out of his head any second now. His eyes ached so severely that he had to put his knees on his hands to keep from trying to gouge them out. Looking up he saw the older him kneeling on the ground holding his own head. Apparently there was some feed back hitting him. The older Jake looked over at his younger self. Bruno: “I know this hurts dude. We’ve only got one more. Can you handle it?” Jake: “Either give me the last one or stop, don’t ask questions. After all if you did this ten years ago when you were me you should know how much I can take.” Bruno: “All right then, that’s what I like to hear. Now pay attention because this is the most important one. In 6 or so years on August eigh…” Faith: “Jake wake up… please wake up you’re scaring me.” A strange female voice that sounded eerily familiar started talking at the same time. “Jacob? Jacob honey wake up it’s almost time to…” Bruno: “SHIT! Well I guess eight is all you get.” Jake: “Quick we’ve got time. Give me the last one.” Bruno: “I can’t. You’re in between sleeping and waking. If I give it to you now it could kill you. Just remember to write this down as soon as you wake up. Don’t even talk to Faith first, you left the computer on so start typing as soon as you get up. Write everything you remember even that the stuff that seems unimportant, like the conversation on campus with Faith and Kelly or what Greg was talking about. When you write me that letter don’t forget to mention that I didn’t get the last message to you in time. Don’t worry when I…” Faith: “JAKE WAKE UP!” Strangely Familiar Female Voice: “Jacob honey? We don’t have time. Chris and Kelly’s are here with their kids and we have to get going if were..” Faith: “JJJJJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE WAKE UP DAMNIT!” Jake was jarred out of the dream by a sharp slap across the face. Faith was staring down at him in terror. Leaping up Jake bolted to the computer and started typing like a mad man. Faith started to ask something and he held up a hand. Jake: “Hold up I need to write this down immediately.” Something in his voice caught her attention. In less than an hour Jake had it all down. So he saved and printed it. Then he told Faith about the dream. By that time he’d realized that Kelly and Megoth were also in the room. So he started from the beginning and pressed on til the end. Once he was done Jake paused to let it sink in. Then an amusing thought struck him and he asked everyone a question.” Jake: “So what would you all say was the weirdest part of that dream?” Kelly: “having just finished reading Stephen Kings “IT” for the first time I have to go with the turtles. Definitely the turtles.” Megoth: “From personal experience I can say that it’s dealing with alternate version of yourself.” Faith: “You’re both wrong.” Kelly and Megoth: “Oh?” Faith: “The weirdest part was obviously Creepy Greg. Am I right?” Jake: “Got it in one babe.” Kelly: “How’s he the weirdest part?” Faith: “Because Jake doesn’t know anyone named Greg, at least not Greg Basore. I’m sure we don’t know anyone matching that description. But during the dream he seemed totally familiar, someone at least as well known as the guys on campus that we all run into enough times that we know their faces and their voices but not their names. You probably even recalled other times running into this guy am I right Jake?” Jake: “Yeah how’d you know?” Faith: “Cause I have dreams like that all the time. People I’ve never met or heard of seem like old friends or enemies.” Kelly: “Well I still say that the turtles have to come in second place.” Megoth: “Nope. The other selves thing wins out.” Faith: “No I’d go with the turtles explanation about different frequencies of reality for ghost and bees and what not.” Kelly: “Yeah but that’s still involving the turtles.” Jake: “Nope you’re all wrong.” Faith: “Okay what gets second place?” Jake: “A college professor giving out a 2000 page writing assignment for week end homework and getting nary a peep of protest from his students..” Faith: “You win.” Megoth: “Can’t argue with that.” Kelly: “I still say the turtles win.” Epilogue Jake’s light hearted mood had only lasted until Faith told him why they were all there. He’d slept though almost an entire day worth of classes. By the time he got to his last class of the day there were only five minutes left. So Jake waited outside and went in after everyone got out. He approached Professor Flannerys desk cautiously. Flannery: “Mr. Bruno good to see you have the manners to show up at all, even if it’s after my class.” Jake: “Sorry bout that I…” Flannery: “I already got a call from your girlfriend explaining about the migraines. So I’ll be brief. This weeks assignment is a short story. It will be on a random topic. Since you missed your chance to draw this afternoon you got the last one left.” Jake: “What is it?” Flannery: “You’ll have to write a short story about dreams Mr. Bruno.” Jake started laughing wildly. It go so bad he had to sit down and get something to drink. Flannery : “Would you care to share what’s so amusing Mr. Bruno?” Jake: “Yeah I would. If you’ll give me fifteen minutes I’ll have the assignment turned in.” Flannery: “I rather doubt that. You haven’t even looked at the requirements yet.” He held out a paper to Jake. Taking a quick glance Jake chuckled. Jake: “This will be cake. Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll have something for you signed and dated with witnesses that I wrote it today. I’ll even bet money on this.” Flannery: “All right Mr. Bruno. Loser owes the winner $50. But remember it has to be something that’s written today. If you have something your drawer at home you’ll get a fair grade and owe me $50. Do we have a deal.” They shook hands and Jake walked over to his dorm room with a shit eating grin all the way there and back. Sure something like this happening was too much to believe… But it makes sense when you’re dreaming By Greg Basore    
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
EVERYTHING JAKE is TM & (C) 2000-2011 by Mike Rosenzweig. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
