|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
Everything Jake #839 Junior Year The Trouble with Megoth and Kelly (F) Megoth looked at A.L.B.E.R.T. for another second, then looked away, disgusted. He had been able to save over 85% of the memory, some it of damaged beyond repair, some of it purposely deleted (the golf club incident, for starters). The new version was built of high quality plastics and had the power of a supercomputer. Megoth was hoping for the Albert that was with them just before he left to “find himself”. The Albert who programmed in a sarcasm filter and was doing everyone's voices. That was one of the only good parts that got damaged. What he had now was a whiny bitch instead. “Papa, where do I came from?” “It’s come from, and I told you, please don’t stray from the door." “Sorry papa.” There were still a lot of bugs to be fixed, Megoth wanted to just wipe the memory slate clean and start over, but was proud how far his AI program had come in such short time. After the Poke-X incident, Megoth was forced to rewrite everything and go from there. Albert had no recollection of the Poke-X incident (or, as Megoth calls it, the day I lost my light saber). Megoth was doing his best to move away from the X-Men / Pokemon hybrid, perhaps one day he could market Albert toys or replicas without getting sued. After all, sometimes when you start with a parody it evolves into something itself. Like Cerebus. Megoth had high, high hopes for A.L.B.E.R.T., if only he would stop being such a god damn pain in the ass. Kelly IM’d Megoth again. There was bad business in Brooklyn indeed, Megoth could smell it. He typed back, snickering to himself. Megothtopia: Are you going to be okay to drive up, Rosey? Rosey84: Yah, sure, she’ll make it. Megothtopia: I still don’t know why you call you car a she. Rosey84: All girls cars are ladies, Chris, maybe when you learn to drive you can tell me what to call my car ;) Megothtopia: Maybe, but I’ll learn when your brother does. Funny. We’ve been able to do okay up here without a car. Rosey84: God knows how. M’kay, I’m paking my things up now and will leave Janie’s tonight, okay? Rosey84: ooohh… packing* :) :) Megothtopia: heh heh. You want to call here a leave a message? Rosey84: Sure. “Papa, Kelly Rose is coming up the hallway.” Megothtopia: Oh, crap, Rosey, your borther is home! She didn’t respond. Megoth clicked off the IM as fast as he could, just as Kelly walked in the house. “Hey Albert, what’s the haps?!!?” “Haps?” “Hi Kelly, and please, from now on, call him A.L.B.E.R.T…” “How d’ya know I didn’t, there, Megoth?” “Trust me. I know.” “Oooookay.” “Haps?” “What are you doing home, anyways? Shouldn’t you be cross town having sex?” “I am still cross town having sex.” “Obviously.” “Well, I don’t mean right now. I came home to, uh, take care of business.” “You… you walked a half an hour to take a dump?” “Who said anything about walking?” “But, a car you do not have…” “I borrowed Trish’s. She didn’t mind. Thinks I came home to get a fresh batch of toppers. Let me tell you, man, that girlfriend of yours is a real cock block.” Click, the door to the bathroom closes. Megoth walks near but not too near and continues the conversation. “I don’t have a girlfriend. I would like it if you stop calling Sandy my girlfriend.” “Did you kiss her on the snow day?” “I never kissed her.” “She thinks you did.” “Even if I did, it wouldn’t have been on the snow day.” “You dirty dawg! When did you kiss her then?” “When?” There was a lot of silence from the bathroom, Megoth could almost hear the gears turning and crunching. Megoth shook his head. It’s too bad I’m the only one who appreciates abstract irony. “I meant, Kelly, that I wouldn’t kiss her on the snow day, I would kiss her on the lip—“ “I understood, I was just concentrating in here.” “I don’t want a progress report.” “Then why are you talking to me?” “I find it fascinating that you could have sex with Trish but can’t use her bathroom.” “Dude, totally different. A man’s throne is his throne, y’know? No where else is…” “Safe?” “Yes. Safe. No. I dunno. But… I have no idea why I came home.” At that Kelly laughed to himself for a good five minutes. Megoth stood outside the door, waiting for the phone to ring, and looking at A.L.B.E.R.T. A.L. was walking around in a figure eight, Megoth could tell there was something turning and crunching in his head as well. A.L. looked up at Megoth, and began to ask, “Where do I come from” when the phone rang. Megoth walked over to the phone but Kelly jumped out of the can and grabbed it. A.L.B.E.R.T. spoke up, “It’s Kelly Rose, female.” This was before Kelly Rose (male) had picked up the phone. He looked at Megoth. How did that robot…? Kelly put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”    
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
EVERYTHING JAKE is TM & (C) 2000-2011 by Mike Rosenzweig. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
