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Everything Jake. #842 Junior Year The Trouble with Megoth and Kelly (f) Kelly Rose (m) picked up the phone, his steely cold stare affixed to Megoth, who only looked bored and uninterested. “Hello?” The line was silent, Kelly moved the receiver away from his ear. “No one’s there.” An explosion of coughing came from the phone, and Kelly dropped it. When picking it up, he noticed Megoth’s amused gaze. “Laugh it up, furball.” “Kelly? Megoth? Anyone there?” It was Jake alright. “Jake, you sound like shit.” “I feel worse than shit.” “How do you feel worse than shit?” “I don’t know, but I do. **coughcoughcough** Fucken flu, man, beating the crap out of me.” “It sure hasn’t deterred your foul mouth. What is it, I have to go have more sex with your girlfriend’s roommate.” “Lucky. *coughcough* Not that I would trade in Faith for anything…” “No sex yet?” “No, but it’s okay. We’ve done just about everything else… which, is **coughcough** HOLY CRAP I FEEL LIKE SHIT!!!” “Worse than shit.” “Yeah, worse.” “So, Jake, you think you’ll be better to see The Two Towers with us?” “I hope so, when’s that out? Next week or so?” “Yeah, Megoth just got hard nips when I mentioned. Speaking of hard nips, I have to get off the phone… here, speak to fattie while I change.” Kelly offered the phone to Megoth and dropped it right before Megoth could grab it. “Dick.” Jake was coughing, a terrific outburst that was almost forty seconds of hell. Megoth patiently waited until he was done, feeling a little sorry for Jake. Having the flu does suck worse than shit. “Better now, Jake?” “Yeah, Megoth, sorry, man. Haven’t felt this sick—“ “Ever?” “No, but not for a lonnng time. What’s up his ass?” “Don’t know.” “Think I know. But we’ll save that for later. I just called because I’m bored.” “Where’s Pat Hall?” “Class. But he’s been pretty cool in saying out of the room.” “He a germ freak? Most of the usually are.” “Most of who?” “I think he has OCD. But that’s just my uneducated guess.” “How do you think he has OCD?” “Just a guess.” “He hasn’t been acting weird since he faked the notes from Kelly.” “Isn’t that weird enough? Kelly told me when you guys spoke to him Kelly felt his eyes go ‘dark’, did that happen?” “Don’t remember. Does it matter?” “I guess not. Hey, want me to bring over a computer game? Did you get Metroid Prime yet?” “I don’t have a GameCube, Megoth, you know that.” “Oh… oh yeah…. Oh yeah I forgot. Letcha borrow mine.” “It’s okay, tough guy, I’m not in the mood for games now anyways. Just trying to sweat out the fever, y’know? My dad might come up here if I don’t get better soon…” “That’s nice of him. Hey, Jake, Kelly’s sister is coming up tonight from Brooklyn…” “That’s cool. Why? Wanna see her brother?” “Yes, and she thinks there’s someone stalking her.” “Really now? That’s odd, though, she is a hot piece, if Kelly can say that about my sister, I can certainly say it about his. Even though she is a bit young, right, Megoth?” “Sure.” “Hot piece. Nice tits. Eh?” “Yeah, Jake, sure. Look, um… hope you feel better, okay? Sure you don’t want me to come over?” “It’s okay. I’ve been reading `Timeline’ and having hallucinations about being in medieval France. It’s not as cool as it sounds.” “No, it’s certainly not. Give us a call when you’re up and out again, okay?” Megoth hung up the phone before Jake could answer. He felt stupid and embarrassed for lying to Jake, but if he was to say anything over the phone now, Kelly would definitely hear. And why was he hiding it from his best friend? Things like this aren’t supposed to happen in ‘Real Life’. It was too sitcommish, too out of his control. Megoth sat down and flicked on the TV. He felt like his insides were being eaten alive by the maggots of guilt and stress. “When my sister comes here, let her in if I’m not here, okay?” “Yessir, anything you say, sir.” “You okay, there, Chris? You’ve been acting strange…” Megoth looked behind him at Kelly, who was standing by the door, halfway out of it. I’ve been acting strange? I’ve been acting strange? “I’m okay, just a little tired from that Abnormal Psyche paper I finished last night.” “When’s that due?” “Two weeks.” “Right. Glad I’m in that class with you.” “Say hi to Trish for me.” “Okay. We still on for Star Trek tomorrow night?” “Yeah, oh, should I get a ticket for Rosey?” “Who?” Hot sharp icicles. That’s what it felt like. Hot, sharp, and icy, right in Megoth’s gut. “Rosey. Your sister? She told me… me… told me to call her Rosey…” “Oh yeah. Forgot that, I hate that name. Then again, she’s just a kid, she’ll grow out of that.” “Isn’t she in her first year of college now?” “She’ll always seem in third grade to me, Megoth, and since when were you so concerned with Kelly?” “Are you forgetting who you’re talking to? Want me to bring up Trish’s file again?” “Good point. “One thing before I go and pretend to have sex with Trish… what the hell does A.L.B.E.R.T. stand for?” “I don’t know yet.” “You don’t know yet?” “I don't know yet. But when I do, I’m sure it’ll be bril, man, f’ing bril.” “Apparently. Don’t look at too much interporn, aiiiight? Seeya, fattie.” The door slammed closed and A.L.B.E.R.T. walked over to Megoth and sat down. He changed the channel with his internal remote to the Bible station. Megoth gave him an evil eye, and A.L.B.E.R.T. switched it back on to Yu-Gi-Oh. “Papa… why am I here?” This was a new one. Megoth was kind of proud for a second. “Well, Al, you’re here to protect us.” “From who? All you do is lie, papa.” “Albert, now now. All will be revealed in time. Just waiting the right time is essential.” “Like Christmas presents?” “What?” “People buy things for other people and don’t tell them what it is until Christmas day. It is a basic form of lying, papa.” “I’ll have to reconfigure your logic tables, Al, but in a way, me telling Kelly not about his sister and me is sort of like a Christmas present.” “Should I wrap Kelly Rose (female) when she arrives?” “Do such a thing and I’ll turn you off for good, hear me?” “I was just joking, papa. Papa? If I don’t have my claws, how will I protect you if the men following Ms. Rose turn out to be bad men?” Megoth was astonished on how much A.L.B.E.R.T had picked up. Well, he is on all the time. “Don’t worry, Al… “There is another.”    
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EVERYTHING JAKE is TM & (C) 2000-2011 by Mike Rosenzweig. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
